martes, 24 de noviembre de 2009

La economía es una cosa muy bonita

Que la economía es una cosa muy bonita, lo sabemos todos, especialmente los banqueros. Quienes acaban de ver que cuando las cosas les van mal, y las cuentas no cuadran porque de noche se les fue la mano, pueden pedirle dinero al gobierno o sus clientes, que somos todos, y se lo damos. Se lo damos, además, por nuestro bien, no por el suyo, claro. Ciertamente, se me ocurren pocas cosas más bonitas.

En Venezuela, cuna de una revolución que se mece a ritmo de salsa, es más bonita aún. Acabo de regresar del Banco Provincial, donde tengo mi cuenta en bolívares. Bolívares fuertes, se entiende. Resulta que están obras, y la sucursal parecen unos estudios de cine de los años cincuenta en Cinecittà. Todo está repleto de gente que va y viene y va y vuelve a venir y vuelve a ir. Cajeros, secretarias, señoras de la limpieza, los tipos de seguridad, clientes, gente que acompaña a clientes, mensajeros con cascos de moto, gerentes, bedeles, abuelos que van cobrar la pensión, estudiantes, ladrones, albañiles, aparejadores, electricistas, decoradores.

Hay varias colas, el deporte nacional venezolano: 1) para la tercera edad y embarazadas; 2) para los titulares de cuenta; y 3) para los no titulares. Todas las colas se entremezclan, serpentenando y enredándose entre sí, como cuando uno guarda en un cajón varios cables y, al cabo de un tiempo, aparecen todos formando un ovillo indescifrable, como un logaritmo neperiano o algo similar.

Pues bien, a la entrada el bedel informa a la clientela que la línea no funciona, por lo que la sucursal está "momentáneamente inoperativa". Como todos sabemos de qué va la vaina, hacemos caso omiso. Y, tras media docena de preguntas, logramos dar con nuestra cola correspondiente. La cola de no titulares JAMÁS atenderá a una embarazada, y la de la tercera edad NUNCA trabajará con un no titular. A los quince minutos, vuelve la línea. Algo que más una cuestión tecnológica es cuestión de fe. Pero aquí en Venezuela tenemos mucha más fe que tecnología, incluso fe en la tecnología. Llega mi turno. La cajera tiene unas uñas postizas enormes, con corazones púrpuras estampados, obviamente demasiado incómodas para teclear. Pero son bonitas, tan bonitas como la economía. No me pide el pasapaporte. Sabe quién soy, sentimos un cariño mutuo y silencioso, que nos expresamos del siguiente modo.

- ¿Qué quieres, corazón?-.
- 2.000 bolívares, por favor-.
- Pero sólo tengo billetes de 20 bolívares, será un fajo. ¿Oíste, mi amor?-.
- En lo que haya, mi reina-.

El Banco Provincial de Venezuela, del Grupo BBVA, otorga la mayor rentabilidad a la matriz central. Muy por encima de otros países menos revolucionarios y menos bonitos. Es lo más bonito de las revoluciones bonitas.

61 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Viva la Regenta, sí, no pongo tu comentario porque el origen tiene que seguir siendo ignoto, desconocido o no disponible...espero que todo bien por Chavezlandia...

Sergiociclismo

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Este comentario ha sido eliminado por un administrador del blog.
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favor de no suprimir comentarios
fdo. emilio botín

fon dijo...

Sergio: todo bien, y bonito. La Regenta me fascinó. Seguiré siendo ignoto, pues.

Anónimo: el segundo comentario lo he borrado, porque era el primero repetido, amigo botín. Doble click, lo llaman, jejeje. Aquí la única censura existente es la autocensura. Abrazo.

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Fon,
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